Where did the fun go?

Okay, so it's been a long time since I blogged... a LONG time. But I just have to have a tangent right now. We all know that I'm pretty old fashioned. Last night at a get together at a friends house I was reminiscing about growing up on The Andy Griffiths Show and Bonanza (I still have a huge crush on Adam). I loved those shows, I loved the values intrinsic in even episode. It was all about doing what was right no matter what. That's how I was raised. I was also raised outside. We played outside all day, regardless of the weather, until it got dark or until our mom's whistled us home. These days I don't see kids playing outside ever. They are all inside tethered to a computer or the tv. I read books. I grew up in a small town so you get pretty creative about how to entertain yourself. I miss that. Here in the big city I find all the guys really boring- you know why? Because they never had to be crazy and adventurous or creative, they had all their fun built in at mini golf and Peter Piper Pizza. I miss doing ridiculous and stupid things just because there wasn't anything else to do. Anyone up for a game of get lost in Paragonah? Or perhaps lay in the middle of the road until a car comes? Maybe we could break into the church just for kicks and giggles? I feel like my life is so boring. I do the same things every week. Go to the same classes and learn the same things, hang out with the same people and have the same conversations, and go to the same movie and watch the same tv shows over and over again. Nothing is novel, nothing is exciting, it's all just blah. And I've been realizing that growing up in my small hometown gave me two illusions that have proven false in the world outside of home: 1) that people are generally nice and friendly, 2) that I am free. I have been realizing lately that so many of the people around me are just looking out for themselves. No one cares about anyone else, no one has your back. If you know me you know that I never have my own back and that means I feel like the quarterback who just keeps getting sacked over and over again. Growing up, I kind of just did whatever I wanted. If I wanted to drive to this place, I did. If I wanted to sleep outside, I did. I didn't worry about my safety in doing it, I never even thought about it. Here, I feel so constricted, like there's this huge list of things I'm not allowed to do. Don't go here, don't do this, I feel like it would be shorter to make a list of things I can do. And all for what? So I can associate with people I'm not interested in, live in a place that makes me feel like I can't breathe, and spend thousands and thousands of dollars to get trained to help people who don't want my help. And then people wonder why I like Bonanza and Jane Austen books and miss Mayberry. I like knowing who the good guys are, who the bad guys are, and that the good will come to good ends, the bad will come to bad ends, and that every girl gets exactly what she deserves. So yes, I miss my small hometown, my loyal friends, and my idealistic views of the world.