Plans, Dreams, and Destruction

Sometimes you have this plan. A plan for how your life is going to be. A plan for children, a plan for a husband. A plan for a family. One day this boy walks into your life and you know that this boy would make your plan work perfectly. He fits into the plan so well. Nothing would change. Because when you made this plan you cut out a silhouette for exactly that boy. Sometimes when that boy walks out of your plan it feels like the rest of the plan won't work without him. It feels like he took the plan with him. Where does that leave you? When the perfect man and the perfect plan take off and leave you with nothing but doubts and insecurities. Where do you go? What do you do? The rest of the plan doesn't make sense without him. Do you start a new plan? If you're me... the solution to this is to run away. Run away fast and run away hard, and try like hell not to look back. But sometimes the boy doesn't know that he wrecked your plans and your dreams and he still wants to be friends. It's hard to run away when he is holding your hand. What if the person you gave your heart to is crushing it to pieces, but he won't let go of it? What then? What if watching him crush your heart and your dreams isn't nearly as painful as the idea of living without him? Does that make you weak? Does that make you pathetic?