Monday, December 15, 2008

Whoever said "All publicity is good publicity" was clearly not from Parowan...

AN AMERICAN MOMENT: Road to the inauguration

In Utah, the Parowan Prophet predicts disaster will prevent Obama from taking office

The Parowan Prophet
Kirk McKoy / Los Angeles Times
Leland Freeborn and 12 other survivalists meet every Monday at his home. The group believes Leland is a prophet and they come to hear his predictions.
'He will not be the next president,' Leland Freeborn warns those who will listen. He and his followers expect nuclear explosions this Christmas season.
By PETER H. KING
December 13, 2008
Reporting from Parowan, Utah -- Our trip to the Parowan Prophet began with a letter to the St. George Spectrum. It was set among missives proposing that oil companies bail out Detroit automakers, that county inmates be forced to winter in tents, that lawyers be barred from public office. A rough crowd.

This particular letter to the editor in the St. George, Utah, newspaper carried the headline " 'Prophet' shares grim forecast," and it was signed by one Leland Freeborn of Parowan, who wrote that he was known to many as the Parowan Prophet.

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After establishing his bona fides as an international talk radio guest and proprietor of a survivalist website that has "passed more than 100,000 hits," Freeborn wrote:

"I think that you should hear what my opinion about the Obama election is: that he will not be the next president. I said on my home page in August that if he lost to expect to see the 'riots' that 2 Peter 2:13 tells us about. He didn't lose. But the story is not finished yet. I still think they may begin the riots before Christmas 2008, as I said."

These riots, according to his prophecy, will encourage the "old, hard-line Soviet guard" to seize the moment and rain down nukes on the United States, killing at least 100 million of us.

"Prepare now," Freeborn's letter concluded. "We are downwind from Las Vegas. I hope you can survive."



It took an hour to reach the prophet, a high-country drive through stunning red-rock formations, the color of which matches the politics in this corner of southern Utah. A freeway billboard, depicting a nuclear mushroom cloud, provided directions to the prophet's two-story house.

The frontyard seemed a staging ground for rapid flight -- two or three motor boats, a raft, a canoe, a recreational vehicle and an old sedan, parked with its engine running.

The man who answered our unexpected knock wore a cowboy hat with a big feather stuck in the band, and a beard suggestive of St. Nick. We asked to see the prophet. He said we had the right guy.

Freeborn hobbled out the door on crutches and eased into a wheelchair on the porch. As it turned out, he was heating the car not for rapid escape from a nuclear cloud, but to take a neighbor to the doctor.

"I only have nine minutes," he said.

It was enough time to sketch out his history -- a Mormon of substance, a father of 12, he had crashed his airplane in 1975 and fallen into a three-week coma, during which he went through "to the other side" and emerged a prophet.

Freeborn, now 66, took "a plural wife," as he put it, and parted ways with the church. He forfeited his wealth, spreading word of his prophecies. He appears to live now mainly on sales of newsletters and survival information packets advertised on his website.

Asked for examples of successful prophecies, he offered O.J. Simpson's murder acquittal and Al Gore's winning of the popular vote in 2000. But his core insight has been a repeated dream of seeing nuclear flashes to the west while shopping at a Wal-Mart during Christmas season.

And this, he warned, appears to be the year.

As Freeborn rose to leave, he said he would be hosting a weekly religious meeting that night. He urged us to come.

"If you can write a story," Freeborn said, "you can save a lot of lives in L.A."



There were about a dozen believers in the two front rooms, men and women of all ages, squeezed together on couches and dining room chairs.

All of them had broken with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints over polygamy and other departures from what they believe was the original vision of the church founder Joseph Smith. And all said they regarded Freeborn a prophet.

The cluttered room was filled with Bibles and religious tracts, government maps depicting potential nuclear targets, and framed photographs of mushroom clouds.

For 90 minutes -- while two boys played on the carpet with a calculator and a marked-up Book of Mormon -- the adults read aloud selected biblical verses, passages from Smith's biography and text pulled from an unidentified website.

After each reading, they discussed how these fragments all pointed to a singular end: nuclear destruction brought on by the Lord's wrath.

Freeborn sprawled in a stuffed chair, directing the discussion and sometimes correcting his acolytes. It was a congenial group, but not much given to small talk. As the night wound down, Freeborn returned to his core prophecy.

"I really believe we are out of time," he said. "I really do."

Freeborn conceded that he'd issued similar warnings many times before, and still the world kept spinning. Prophecy, he said, is not an exact science.

"I've been at it for 30 years, and I have always really believed it," he said. "Now, if we go on, that's great. Maybe we can get some more people to repent."

He seemed weary, referring to himself as a "gimpy old crippled guy from Parowan." He described going on radio and, mocked by the host, receiving not a single request from the audience for survival information. He said he has been shunned in town, his property vandalized. He recited from memory a scriptural passage about "scoffers."

The prophet's eyes reddened, and I could sense his frustration as he sized us up as two more likely nonsubscribers. As he dropped his head in contemplation, it occurred to me: How terrible it must be to believe what this man truly appears to believe, and yet have so few willing to listen.

Perhaps for our benefit, the group volunteered some secular support for Freeborn's prophecy. Perhaps economic meltdown would trigger the riots. Maybe there would be an uprising over an automaker bailout.

"One thought you might have," came a voice from somewhere behind me, "is that we don't have any leadership now until January. See what I am saying? We are in limbo. If they do something tomorrow, who is going to decide?"

The night's last word belonged to the prophet.

"Everything is coming together," Freeborn said, "and it fits right now."

He presented us with brown medicine bottles filled with iodide crystals -- to ward off the effects of radiation.

"I don't think you are going to finish your trip back East," the Parowan Prophet said, urging us to reconsider our journey to the inauguration.

Nonetheless, with our little brown bottles of iodide, we will press on. The rest of you are warned.

King is a Times staff writer.

This ran in the LA times...I have no words.

Monday, December 8, 2008

A few of my favorite things

"It´s only when you´re tested that you truly discover who you are. And it´s only when you´re tested that you discover who you can be. The person that you want to be does exist, somewhere in the other side of hard work and faith, and belief and beyond the HEARTACHE and fear of life."

"Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there…because you can't remember a time in your life when it wasn't. But then one day you feel something else-something that feels wrong, only because it's so unfamiliar. And in that moment you realize…you're happy."

"You know that romantic notion that all the garbage and pain is actually really healing, and beautiful, and sort of poetic? It's not, it's just garbage and it's pain. You know what's better? love. The day that you start thinking that love is overrated is the day that you're wrong. The only thing wrong with love, and faith, and belief is not having it."

"A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous."

"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond."

"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it."

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
"I don't much care where –" said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.
"– so long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation.
"Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Plans, Dreams, and Destruction

Sometimes you have this plan. A plan for how your life is going to be. A plan for children, a plan for a husband. A plan for a family. One day this boy walks into your life and you know that this boy would make your plan work perfectly. He fits into the plan so well. Nothing would change. Because when you made this plan you cut out a silhouette for exactly that boy. Sometimes when that boy walks out of your plan it feels like the rest of the plan won't work without him. It feels like he took the plan with him. Where does that leave you? When the perfect man and the perfect plan take off and leave you with nothing but doubts and insecurities. Where do you go? What do you do? The rest of the plan doesn't make sense without him. Do you start a new plan? If you're me... the solution to this is to run away. Run away fast and run away hard, and try like hell not to look back. But sometimes the boy doesn't know that he wrecked your plans and your dreams and he still wants to be friends. It's hard to run away when he is holding your hand. What if the person you gave your heart to is crushing it to pieces, but he won't let go of it? What then? What if watching him crush your heart and your dreams isn't nearly as painful as the idea of living without him? Does that make you weak? Does that make you pathetic?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thank You Taylor Swift

Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known that

I'm not a princes, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake I didn't know
To be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know that

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Isn't it funny how a teenager has life figured out more than I do... I'm taking her lead and walking away. FINALLY. All of you who know what I'm referring to can let out a sigh of relief now.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Things that change

"I'm tired of chasing my dreams. They can just tell me where they are going and I'll catch up with them later..." I don't know who said this, but I feel like maybe they were applying to graduate school. Lately so many things have been changing. Usually I'm not very good with change. However, lately I've needed it. There was a song Bethany Joy Galeotti sang on One Tree Hill many moons ago that pretty much sums up my life. It goes, "It's October again, leaves are coming down. One more year has come and gone and nothing's changed at all. Wasn't I supposed to be the one who can face the things that I've been running from? Let me feel, I don't care if I breakdown Let me fall, even if I hit the ground And if I... Cry a little Die a little At least I know I lived, just a little... I've become much too good at being invincible I'm an expert at play it safe, and keep it cool But I swear this isn't who I'm meant to be I refuse to let my life roll all over me... Let me feel, I don't care if I breakdown Let me fall, even if I hit the ground And if I... Cry a little Die a little At least I know I lived, just a little... I wanna be somebody I, I wanna be somebody I wanna be somebody I, I wanna be somebody who can face the things that I've been running from Let me feel, I don't care if I breakdown Let me fall, even if I hit the ground And if I Cry a little Die a little At least I know I lived... It's October again Leaves are coming down One more year's come and gone And nothing's changed at all" I don't want to go another year alone. So if my entire life needs to be shoved in a blender and everything gets all mixed together, so be it. I need to be different. I need to be more. I don't want to be one of those people who looks good on paper but seems a little dry in real life. Mainly I'm just sick of being afraid of everything. Another song from One Tree Hill is kind of how I'm feeling right now, "you cant break a broken heart, so try you best now baby, try your best to break me, you cant break a broken heart, no damage you can do now i'm immune to you now, you cant break what broke apart". My heart has been broken so many times that I'm not sure there are big enough pieces left to hurt. So my thinking is that I have no where left to go but up, right? As I told my therapist, "I know how to be healthy, now I need to figure out how to be happy". And I'm finally willing to risk enough to do a little trial and error. I wrote before about the enormity of the options before me. Well, I'm sick of sitting around trying to figure out which one will be best. I'm just going to jump into options until I find one that fits. So if you have any suggestions, I'm willing to test it out...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Doing what I'm supposed to do.

For as long as I can remember I have always done exactly what I'm supposed to do. I was in every club in high school. I was a cheerleader. I played tennis. I graduated with honors. In college, same story. I was in clubs. I was on student government. I went to therapy and worked hard to get past all my issues. Just what I was supposed to do. Once again, I graduated with honors. Then I got a job in my field. Just like I was supposed to. Now, I'm in the middle of applying for graduate school after taking that year off. Just like I was supposed to. My parents brag about me to all of their friends, "Look at my daughter, isn't she just perfect" and of course their friends are envious because their children lack "focus" and "goals". I love school. I don't think I will ever belong anywhere as well as I belong in the realm of academia. That is where I thrive. Ever since I graduated though, and here's where the BUT comes in, I've had this nagging urge to do something crazy, out of character, unexpected. I was talking to Bridget about this last week and she asked what I wanted to do and the first thing that came to mind was travel. Then, I was watching One Tree Hill last night, and I know this is a weird place to come up with inspiration, but Lucas was adapting his novel into a screenplay and I remembered that ever since I was a little girl I have always wanted to write a novel. There is something else I have always wanted to do but it always seemed a little far fetched, I have always wanted to learn Greek. I know it's not very practical to know Greek. But you remember that saying, "It's all greek to me."? I always wanted to be able to say, "Greek makes sense to me." Then I was talking to Bethany last weekend and she gave me some advice that I was very willing to accept. She said that you find pieces of yourself in different places, so go find them. I think my biggest issue right now is that I don't want to look back at my life and regret the things I didn't do. So, I need all of your help to be more spontaneous and to not hold back because I feel self-conscious. Thanks in advance. Ha ha.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

No on Hate

As you probably know I have been a pretty vocal supporter of gay rights for years, Nina, Melanie, and I even wrote a bill in support of gay marriage in high school. So, you could say I tend to be sympathetic to their cause. However, their behavior in response to the passing of proposition 8 is making me regret those years. Do they really think that 52% of California is Mormon? Who would have guessed that a religion who believes in the old testament would not support the same thing that destroyed soddom and gamorrah? I love their protest signs that say "no on hate" when they are actively engaging in hate crimes against a church that does nothing but good. Yes, lets protest the house of God. We live in a democracy. That's what makes our country great. A government by the people and for the people. I heard a protestor on tv the other night talking about how it is ridiculous for the majority to dictate what rights the minority has. But that's how the government works. That's how everything works. The many are not going to bend over backwards to accomodate the few. Nudists aren't hurting anyone but it's still called indecent exposure when you walk around with your reproductive organs flapping unmolested in the breeze. No one is taking away the rights of people to be gay. They are just saying that homosexual marriage isn't legal. However, protesters are trying to take away the right of freedom of speech and freedom of religion. And those are freedoms insured by the constitution specifically. Like I said, I was all for not taking away people's agency but when we are talking about bringing that into schools- that's a different story. A third grade teacher told her students that a prince can marry a prince and a princess can marry a princess. That's a little too much for me. As for those members of the church who want to be gay and still maintain their membership, you have to pick a side. Either you believe in the prophet and follow his counsel or you don't. God isn't going to change His mind because you want Him to. And trying to fight the church is just going to leave you excommunicated and bitter. It's a church. It's not a democracy. It's an oligarchy. And everyone is acting like California is going to set a precedence, but did anyone notice that two other states did the same thing on election day? To all of the no on 8 people out there who peacefully accepted the results, kudos. For all of you protesters, and that includes all the people out there who are protesting the protesters, maybe you should read your signs. Because I'm all in favor of voting for and supporting no hate.