My Good Buddy

Lest anyone get concerned- this is for a great friend... not a love interest.

Friday night beneath the stars
In the field behind your yard
You and I are paintin' pictures in the sky
And sometimes we don't say a thing
Just listen to the crickets sing
Everything I need is right here by my side
And I know everything about you
I don't wanna live without you

I'm only up when you're not down
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground
It's like no matter what I do
Well you drive me crazy half the time
The other half I'm only trying to let you know
That what I feel is true
And I'm only me when I'm with you

Just a small town boy and girl
Livin' in a crazy world
Tryin' to figure out what is and isn't true
And I don't try to hide my tears
My secrets or my deepest fears
Through it all nobody gets me like you do
And you know everything about me
You say that you can't live without me

I'm only up when you're not down
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground
It's like no matter what I do
Well you drive me crazy half the time
The other half I'm only trying to let you know
That what I feel is true
And I'm only me when I'm with you

When I'm with anybody else, it's so hard to be myself
Only you can say

That I'm only up when you're not down
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground
It's like no matter what I do
Well you drive me crazy half the time
The other half I'm only trying to let you know
that what I feel is true

And I'm only me
Who I wanna be
Well, I'm only me when I'm with you
With you

Monthly Reminder... ha ha.

Guys, the gospel is amazing. Everyday I learn new things that simply reinforce the amazingness of the gospel. And I just wanted to give everyone a little dose of encouragement. I was reading a book the other day that said, "Some men see the worst in others, but some men only see the worst in themselves". I think that's true of all of us sometimes. It's so easy to become discouraged. Sometimes I think that is Satan's biggest tool against us. Especially against us sisters. It's so easy for us (meaning me) to fall into this mindset that we aren't good enough. Well, let me tell you. You are good enough. You are wonderful exactly the way God made you. Your mistakes and your shortcomings are what make you you. I learn so much from all of you almost everyday. So many quiet acts of service and so many kind words are spoken everyday and I wonder if we even realize the impact that our smallest acts have? We have so much potential to do great things. I have kind of a little challenge for you all- it's a challenge that I'm giving myself and I think it will be easier for me if my friends do it to (ha ha- just one of my shortcomings). Let's make Satan afraid of what we will do. I've spent a lot of my life ( especially since reading Moses) scared to death of Satan- I even used to have nightmares about him all the time. But as Joseph Smith said, we were born to be disturbers and annoyers of the adversaries kingdom. Let's be the people who when we wake up in the morning Satan says, "oh no, they're up again". Just for a little added motivation I'm enclosing a quote from the book The Brother's -If you haven't read it- READ IT. So, I'll set it up for you- these brother are in the premortal experience and the adversary is trying to get him to take his side in the war in heaven. Ammon, the brother, rejects Satan plan and Satan goes all knashing of teeth on him. This is Ammon's response, "Do what you will. I don't fear you now. I understand, can't you see that?I know what you can and can't do to me now. You can tempt me, desert me, or cause me great pain; you can create a dark world that may cause me to fear; you can rule your world with blood and terror, that's true. But you can't win. And I know that. Weak as I am, with all of my failings, I am stronger than you. I will soon have a body. And I have my agency now. I will increase in my faith and knowledge and power. I am not perfect, but I will be, and there's not a thing you can do! I will become like the Father if I follow the Son. You are powerless to stop me. You can threaten and tempt and whisper lies in my ear, but you can't stop me, Satan; I see that so clearly now! I can stop myself, yes, but only if I follow you. And I reject your temptations. I reject your whispered lies. I reject you, Lucifer, and your entire plan. You have no power to control me. I am in control of myself. And try as you might, you won't control me on earth. Here, or the earth, it doesn't matter; I AM ALWAYS STRONGER THAN YOU." You are all so wonderful and so full of beauty and potential. Please don't forget that. You can make a difference and you can win. I love you all.

I Wish I Had Something to Blog About.

I'm so boring that I'm annoying myself. So if you think of any fun things for me to do in the city of sin (excluding anything that would prevent me from obtaining a temple recommend) please let me know.

Same Mistake and Divine Retribution

I do believe that I am the dumbest person on the planet. I keep making the same freaking mistake and then I sit there and wonder, "How did I end up here?" Like it isn't exactly the same every time. There is a good possibility that I have a Savior complex... and it keeps getting me into trouble because I think that I am strong enough to handle it and that I could really help someone. But no one is that strong and I am so sick of breaking my own heart in exactly the same way. Is there anyone out there who would be willing to physically restrain me? I would really appreciate it. And maybe actually take my phone away? Great. Anyway, so I said I wasn't going to see him again EVER- maybe I'm setting my goals too high- but I still walked outside when he showed up at my house... and here is the part where the divine retribution comes in, my eye is now swollen shut. Serves me right. Maybe I'm allergic to him? Hopefully. Anyway, here are the lyrics to James Blunt's "Same Mistake" because it's exactly my feelings and it's put much prettier than I could write it.
"And so I sent some men to fight, and one came back at dead of night.
Said he'd seen my enemy. Said he looked just like me,
So I set out to cut myself and here I go.
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.
And maybe someday we will meet, and maybe talk and not just speak."

I'm Just a Girl

My mom fell in love with this song when I was in the fourth or fifth grade, the song was Spiderwebs, by a band called No Doubt. Over the years she has always loved them- she especially identified with the lead singer, Gwen Stefani. She also LOVES contributing to charities. So imagine the happy joy my brother and I had upon discovering the not only was No Doubt getting back together- they were going on tour- and their tour started in our very own town, at Tiger Jam (a charity concert for the Tiger Woods Foundation). The perfect birthday present for the mother who has EVERYTHING. Last night was the concert. We had a blast. The opening act was a band called The Sounds- I'd never heard them before but I'm sure some of you have. Then Paramore went on and rocked the house. Finally, Ben Rothlesburger and Tiger Woods came out and introduced the main attraction. The highlight of the evening was when they played Running to a video montage of them in their early days...I love sentimental crap like that. The only draw back was that either Paramore or No Doubt, maybe both has a large following of PDA prone lesbian couples...it was very distracting. There was also this older couple a few rows in front of us and the wife kept reaching down and rubbing her hand ALL over her husbands butt. My little brother and I were scarred for life. Seriously people, no one wants to see you all over another person in public- if you can't keep your hands off each other, get a room instead of concert tickets. I'm just saying. Over all, it was a very enjoyable evening and relatively good family fun. And yes, I actually took a couple of pictures... be proud.

If We Don't Stand for Virtue Who Will?

Sister Elaine S. Dalton posed that question when the Young Women general presidency added virtue to the list of young women values. A couple of nights ago I had a very interesting conversation with my best friend from high school. She's made some decisions that are very different than the decisions I have made. And she typically spends a great deal of our time together deriding me for being a prude and being too religious. As a result, I don't spend that much time with her anymore. But as we were sitting in my car talking she gave me the advice, "have fun kissing, but don't go any farther- it isn't worth it". I almost started crying because I realized that she regrets the decisions she's made. It also brought home this quote for me, "Often those who publicly deride you for your high standards privately do not want you to violate them. They need your good example." I can't think of any way I can be a better example to others than by being virtuous. President Hinckley said, "there is nothing in this world as magnificent as virtue. It glows without tarnish. It is precious and beautiful. It is above price. It cannot be bought or sold. It is the fruit of self mastery." I am grateful for the doctrine of virtue in my life, it has saved me a lot of heart ache in the past. I am also grateful for all my gorgeous virtuous lady friends- they are wonderful people who are great examples to me- I love you guys! To wrap things up I would like to leave you with an excerpt from Pres. Hinckley's How Can I Become the Woman of Whom I Dream speech, "You are creatures of divinity; you are daughters of the Almighty. Limitless is your potential. Magnificent is your future, if you will take control of it. Do not let your lives drift in a fruitless and worthless manner...For you my dear friends, the sky is the limit. You can be excellent in every way. You can be first class. There is no need for you to be a scrub. Respect yourself. Do not feel sorry for yourself. Do not dwell on unkind things others may say about you....Polish and refine whatever talents the Lord has given you. Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with a great and strong purpose in your heart. Love life and look for its opportunities, and forever and always be loyal to the church. Never forget that you came to earth as a child of the divine father with something of divinity in your very makeup. The Lord did not send you here to fail. He did not give you life to waste it."

WTHeck?

I realize that I'm not exactly a fount of common sense, so there are a lot of things I don't understand... Jason Mraz for example... but how is it that you can know everything about a person and still need them? How can you know that someone is shallow and insecure and totally clueless and still depend on them? How can you let someone so completely untrustworthy have so much of you? You know that you are giving them all the ammunition they need to hurt you, but you still need them? How many times do you need to let the same person hurt you in the same way before enough is enough? How can you love and hate the same person with equal measure? I guess I'm trying to be rational about something irrational. But what adaptive purpose could this phenomena possibly serve? It makes no sense, yet most people experience it.