U2, The Black Eyed Peas, and Billy Gilman...?!

I had a weirdly (for me) eventful weekend. It all started with a text from my little brother Friday morning letting me know that he was ditching out on a family concert to go to a Halloween carnival at his old elementary school. What a dumb kid. So my mom told me to bring a friend. Luckily Casi Jo was able to go with me. We had a very fun drive to Vegas...
"Did we pass Mesquite?" -Jess
"I don't think so. I don't remember seeing any buildings." -Casi Jo
"That's a sign for Glendale, so we for sure passed Mesquite..." -Jess
"Should we be scared that neither of us noticed a city?" - Casi Jo
"eh." -Jess
and the awesome
"Do you like Jimmy?"- Jess
"Your little brother or your step dad?"- Casi Jo
"EATWORLD!"- Jess
However, when we got to Vegas my step-dad had something crazy go wrong with his eyes and his doctor told him that he couldn't go to the concert. And my mom didn't want him to stay home alone, so Casi Jo and I went to the concert with my step-dad's best friend and his wife... All I have to say is that they are a really special couple. They argued pretty much the whole way to the concert- mainly about instructions for the limo driver. My favorite argument of the evening was this,
"If you're going to act like this all night I'm going to be super annoying to make your life even more miserable." Cath
"Joke's on you. It's not even possible to make me more miserable than I already am." -Mike
Casi and I silently laughed pretty much the whole drive. It was pretty entertaining. When we got to the concert I made Casi Jo stand in line for like half and hour to get my mom a shirt. She loved me. Ha ha. While we were in line we stood next to a man who thought it was funny to yell periodically... "Ya, Ted Nugent." or "I can't wait to see Black Sabbath!" There was also a man who got garlic fries and ate them in line and made Casi and I want to throw up. So Casi finally pushed her way to the front of the line (and butted a couple of people) and I got the shirts. The Black Eyed Peas were already on stage, so we found our seats. Mike refused to sit with us- which we also found pretty funny. Fergie is awesome. Will I Am pissed me off because he kept saying mother %$^*@!. And he did this Barack Obama tribute- which actually got a surprising number of boos considering it was a U2 concert. Ha ha.
While we were waiting for U2 to come on we had this really random conversation about serial killers with Cath, which morphed into a conversation about scary movies and this random girl in front of us jumped right into our conversation. Cath thought that was weird. Casi Jo and I explained that it happens to us all the time because we're from Utah and we don't drink so we had to grow personalities and people find us really entertaining. Or at the very least, we find ourselves very entertaining. Ha ha. U2 was cool. I don't know a lot of their songs- but I think Bono is very attractive so that made things better.
We've already established that I have no business taking pictures. But I'm posting some anyway. ha ha.So like halfway through the U2 concert Bono starts talking about a spacestation and how it was the inspiration for their stage- it didn't occur to me before then that that's what the stage was (I may have thought it was a caterpillar until that point.) So, I shout "Oh, It's a Spaceship!!!" So loud that the row of people in front of me turned and looked at me. Casi was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe "good Jess. We all knew that." And you all only wish that you could have seen our interpretation of what "She moves in mysterious ways" meant! Ha ha. Also, Bill Clinton was randomly there. I want a secret service agent to follow me around. They are hott. All in all it was a great concert and Casi and I had an awesome time.


Yesterday we drove back to Utahland because Casi had to drive to Heber last night. And I watched the end of the BYU game with Rob and his little bro. GO TCU!!! Then we went bowling. Rob and I took two of his little brothers with us. So, we're bowling and Dave shows up with a date and just happens to get put in the lane next to ours- so awesome- and so not awkward. ha ha. The best part of my whole night was in the arcade after bowling. We were looking at the games to see if we wanted to play any of them when Gary leans up against the jukebox and it just randomly starts playing that Billy Gilman song, "One Voice". So Gary feels the need to shout, "I didn't pick this" and walks away quickly. I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard. Basically, those are the highlights of my weekend. You know you love me!

I'm there

So you all know about my obsession with the dating bible, aka "He's Just Not That Into You". Well, I thought I'd just let everyone know that I've reached this point, "You start thinking that maybe you actually deserve better, not because you learned to love yourself or lost all that weight or saw a great episode of Dr. Phil, but just because you got bored. Bored with the same type of misery over and over again." I'm bored. So find me a guy- I'm tired of wasting the pretty.

HELP!!!

Okay, so I understand the concept of forgiveness. Normally speaking, I would say that I'm pretty good at it. But lately I've been wondering... how many times do you need to turn the other cheek before it's okay to take a step back so they can't hit you anymore? The scriptures say to love those that despitefully use you... is it okay to love them from far away? President Hamilton said, "love is never wasted, even if it's rejected"... is it okay to love that person, but not want to be around them or talk to them? I'm really struggling with this. I always thought I was the kind of person who could deal with anything from the people I love. Go ahead and use me. Go ahead and be mean to me, ignore me, make me feel like crap, it's fine if you don't care about me as much as I care about you... that's what the Savior did- right? So, I thought I was fine with it. I mean, I certainly don't do as much for my friends as the Savior does. So, if it happens to Him, it's fine if it happens to me. "if they hate you, they hated me first". But I'm at a point in my life where I have so much wrong with my life that one little comment, one little slight- is enough to push me over the edge. So for the sake of my mental health- can I be mad at someone, for once? Can I be rude and snide and make them feel bad for making me feel bad ALL THE TIME? I always think that when people are mean, it's because of something I did... but maybe, just this once, can it be just because they are mean people? Because I honestly don't think I've ever done anything bad enough to anyone to merit the way I've been treated. I need your help to understand exactly how forgiveness should work in this situation- because I'm so confused...

Taking the Long Way

Lately I've been feeling like I'm getting left behind. Like everyone is moving on with their lives to bigger and better things... and on the course of life- I'm getting lapped by all my friends and family. However, tonight I realized... I'm pretty sure I'm not even taking the same route as everyone else. As usual I'm doing things my own way and in my own time and to quote the Dixie Chicks, "I'm taking the long way". This song has always appealed to me and I'd like to share a few lyrics that specifically apply to me. "Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself, I opened my mouth and I heard myself, It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself, Guess I could have made it easier on myself, But I, I could never follow, No I, I could never follow, Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else, Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down, If you ever want to find me I can still be found...Taking the long way around" Anyone who knows me, knows this is true of me... especially the "never seem to do it like anybody else" part. So, I guess I just needed to be reminded that I'm different and that's okay. And I just wanted to remind my friends that no matter what path we're taking I love you and it's okay if you take a different route than me- in fact I encourage it! And just maybe you have your own long way...

Who Wouldn't Want to be Me?

Yesterday was my 23rd birthday. And let me tell you, I had such an awesome day! The day started with my ho and my midget picking me up at my dad's house. From there we took a rode trip to Provo to have lunch with my Caytee friend... and her invisible baby bump. He he. I tried to take a picture of me with the baby- or Caytee's flat stomach- but I have no skillage and ended up taking a picture of my head next to her boobs. OOPS! That's not a baby! After we left Caytee (SAAD!) We continued to the next stop of our journey- my ho's house in Heber. Heber is gorgeous! We got to see the uncomplete new addition to her house and her mommy made me a delicious birthday cake! Yay! Then, we (and by we I mean Casi Jo) drove to the Gateway mall in Salt Lake- where we met my Colee and Rob friends. We all had dinner at California Pizza Kitchen, it was yummy and I was so glad I got to see so many of my friends. A funny story for you- Casi insists on calling Robert, Roberto and I wasn't paying attention so I thought she called him "Toad"- please feel free to call him that from now on, he sure loves it! he he. After dinner we went to see KEITH URBAN- love him! THANK YOU CASI JO!!! He was so awesome! So entertaining! And so hott! Nicole Kidman is one lucky lady, he even dedicated a song to her. Plus, my Colee and my Midget sent texts to the big screen at the concert for me and after that I thought every happy birthday text was for me! he he. All in all I had a pretty spectacular day filled with all of my favorite people and all of my favorite things!!! Thanks for the wonderful birthday!


My friends are the most amazing people in the world! I love you guys!!!

The Whole Truth

I'm feeling very honest tonight so here goes... I'm starting off with this quote because I realized it describes how I'm feeling, “I come in here and I sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we used to be. And so I wish for patience, and grace, and strength to just let him be happy. Mostly I pray for the strength to not make his life worse because of what I want.” Instead of in here, we should go out here because anyone who knows me, knows I do all my best thinking, pondering, praying... outside. But back to the whole hard truth, for as long as I can remember I have known what I wanted. The details were fuzzy, but since I was sixteen I have known who I wanted to be with and where I wanted to be with him. As usual, life doesn't turn out how you want it. And I haven't even come close to getting what I want. But it feels like anyone else would be settling. I don't want to settle, so if I can't have him- I don't want anyone. It might sound immature. You might think the spoiled brat in me is rearing her "I want what I want" head. But the more I see of the world, the more I experience life, the better I know myself, the more sure I am of the decision I made when I was sixteen. To be fair, I was a pretty mature sixteen year old... the day I made the decision to settle for nothing less than a temple marriage was just before the day I decided that marriage should be to him. However, as many of you know, I've never really had to work at anything in my life. And it's not like I'm suddenly going to change into the kind of person who fights for what I want... so if I'm not going to fight for him- am I making his life worse by being a part of it?

Official Resignation

I'm officially off the market. I will no longer be looking at boys, talking to them, or wanting to date them. From now on they are just really ugly girls with small boobs. I plan to become a crazy old maid. Maybe they can make a card game where whoever gets me looses- WHAT? They already made that game?! But seriously... so don't try to hook me up with your friends, brothers, roommate from freshman year of college. I'm not interested. As far as I'm concerned the whole species of single men is infected with a deadly infectious disease. If I sound bitter, that's because I am. Loves!